I used to think healing was simple. You leave the past behind, you move on, and that’s it right?
Wrong.
Even after I walked away from what hurt me, something still didn’t feel right. I was free, but I wasn’t free. My body felt heavy, my emotions unpredictable. Sometimes, I was numb. Other times, I was angry for reasons I couldn’t explain. I told myself, I should be fine by now. But I wasn’t.
And then, I came across a book that changed everything—"The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel van der Kolk.
It explained something I had felt for years but never had words for: Trauma doesn’t just live in your mind. It lives in your body.
What is Trauma, Really?
Trauma isn’t just about what happened to you it’s about how it changed you.
It's the unfinished story your body keeps telling, even when your mind wants to forget. It’s the sleepless nights, the sudden anxiety, the way your body tenses at certain sounds or places. It’s the feeling of being stuck in the past, even when you know you’ve left it behind.
Trauma is not just a memory. It’s a physical experience.
The Different Types of Trauma (And How They Shape Us)
I used to believe trauma was just one thing—something big and obvious, like war or a terrible accident. But trauma comes in different forms, and each one affects us differently.
1. Acute Trauma 🚨 (The One Big Event)
This is caused by a single, life-altering experience—an accident, assault, natural disaster, or sudden loss. It’s the kind of trauma that can hit like a truck, leaving you in shock.
For some people, the memories fade over time. But for others, the body remembers—through panic attacks, nightmares, or an unexplained fear of certain places or situations.
👉 Ever felt your heart race when you pass by a place connected to a bad memory? That’s acute trauma still living in your body.
2. Chronic Trauma 🔄 (The Pain That Doesn’t End)
This kind of trauma isn’t one event it’s repeated over time. Think of childhood neglect, domestic violence, long-term bullying, or growing up in a chaotic household.
Your brain learns to always be on high alert. Even when you're safe, your body might still feel unsafe. This can lead to anxiety, difficulty trusting others, or even shutting down emotionally.
👉 Have you ever found it hard to relax, even when nothing is wrong? Chronic trauma can make ‘calm’ feel unfamiliar.
3. Complex Trauma 🕸️ (The Deepest Wound)
This is what happens when trauma happens repeatedly, especially in relationships where you should have been safe like a parent-child or romantic relationship. It changes the way you see yourself and the world.
You might struggle with self-worth, relationships, or even feeling like you deserve happiness. Your body learns that love and safety come with pain, making it hard to trust even when good things come your way.
👉 Ever pushed people away, even when you wanted a connection? That’s complex trauma whispering, “They’ll hurt you too.”
How Trauma Affects Your Healing Journey
I wanted to heal. I thought healing was about thinking positively, praying harder, and moving on. But my body had other plans.
Here’s what trauma does to the healing process:
1. Your Body Doesn’t Feel Safe, Even When It Is
In The Body Keeps the Score, Dr. van der Kolk explains how trauma rewires the brain. Your amygdala (the part responsible for fear) stays on high alert, making you jumpy or anxious. Your prefrontal cortex (the part that helps you think logically) shuts down, making it hard to calm yourself.
👉 That’s why you can know you're safe, but your body still reacts like you’re in danger.
2. You Get Stuck in “Freeze” Mode
There’s fight, flight, and freeze. Some people fight back; others run. But some of us freeze—we shut down, disconnect, or feel emotionally numb.
I was in freeze mode for years. I wasn’t hurting anymore, but I also wasn’t living. I was just…existing.
👉 If you’ve ever felt “stuck,” no matter how hard you try, it’s not your fault. It’s your body protecting you the only way it knows how.
3. You Carry Unprocessed Emotions
Trauma isn’t just fear—it’s grief, anger, sadness, and shame. If we don’t process these emotions, they get stuck in our bodies. That’s why trauma survivors often struggle with unexplained depression or sudden anger.
👉 Have you ever had an emotional breakdown over something small? That’s often years of suppressed feelings finally escaping.
The Importance of Releasing Trauma from the Body
So, how do we heal?
Dr. van der Kolk emphasizes that talking about trauma isn’t enough—we need to release it from our bodies, too.
Ways to Release Trauma
🧘 Somatic Therapy – Therapy that focuses on body awareness and movement.
🕺 Dance & Movement – Moving your body helps discharge trapped trauma energy.
🧘♀️ Breathwork & Meditation – Calms the nervous system and brings safety back to the body.
🏃 Exercise – Running, yoga, or even shaking your body can reset the nervous system.
🎭 Creative Expression – Music, art, writing—it all helps process emotions that words alone can’t.
For me, music became my release. Every song I wrote was a piece of trauma leaving my body. Every performance was a step towards reclaiming myself.
Final Thoughts: Your Healing Is Possible
If you’ve ever felt like you should be healed by now but still feel stuck, be gentle with yourself. Trauma is a deep wound, and deep wounds take time to heal.
You are not broken.
You are not weak.
Your body is just trying to protect you.
Healing isn’t about forgetting it’s about giving your body the safety and space it needs to let go.
And trust me, you will wake up one day and realize you’re not carrying the weight anymore.
✨ Until then, keep going. Keep healing. Your freedom is on the other side. ✨
With love,
Kobusinge Jackline 💛
(P.S. What’s one thing that has helped you heal? Let’s talk in the comments!) 💬
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